Two Podners Bar-B-Que & Seafood (Dallas, TX)

Today I had a little time to kill for lunch, so I headed toward Fair Park to sample Two Podners Bar-B-Que & Seafood. Ordinarily I would be worried about a barbecue joint that doesn't focus solely on smoked meat, but since the only "seafood" they have on the menu is fried catfish, it seemed worth the risk.

The drive-thru line here is really helpful if you want your food to go, but otherwise it makes it a little difficult for dine-in customers to park. I had to wait almost 5 minutes for a break in the line just so I could pull through the parking lot. Part of this is poor design and planning, although the general rudeness of the drive-thru customers was also to blame.

Judging by the interior setup, coupled with the existing drive-thru, I'm about 98% certain that Two Podners used to be a McDonald's. It even had the telltale red and yellow booths, which were ragged and nearly falling apart at the seams. What was once most likely a playground area is now used for outdoor patio seating.

After a few questions for the server behind the counter, I ended up ordering a Combo Plate of ribs and sliced brisket, with sweet potatoes and pinto beans on the side. When I ordered, the server asked if I wanted "mild or hot". I didn't really understand the question, so I naturally picked hot. She handed me my order, and I soon realized that she was asking about the barbecue sauce which would inevitably be poured all over my meat. Sigh. As I paid for my food I noticed that refills are free for soda, but apparently the same isn't true for punch or lemonade, despite the fact that they're all self-serve fountain drinks. Undaunted, I picked up a big glass of lemonade.

I picked pinto beans over baked beans, mostly because I feared the baked variety would originate from a can. They were tasty with a good amount of salt. The onions and peppers mixed in added no crunch and not much flavor either. It was a decent side dish, but not spectacular. The sweet potatoes were pleasantly sweet and had a good softness to them. That being said, they were nothing to write home about either.

Sad as I was about the heavy dose of sauce my meat had received, I can rarely resist a brisket in any form. There was a good smoke ring and a nice black crust, but even by looking at it I could tell that the brisket was completely dried out. It was tough and chewy, even for a lean cut. My roll of silverware came only with a fork and spoon, but a knife was definitely required here. As promised, the sauce was rather spicy, which is good because it was the only part of the brisket that had any real flavor. I stopped eating the brisket after only 3 bites.

The ribs were some of the saddest little ribs I've been served in a while. The meat was tough and chewy, just like the brisket. The thick slathering of sauce precluded any possibility of tasting smoke, although there may not have been any to begin with judging by the brisket I'd just eaten. I didn't see any smokey hue to the ribs either, but it could have been hidden by the sauce, so who knows for sure. I managed to salvage half of one rib from the sauce, only to find no flavors other than meat and just a hint of salt.

I hate to waste food or money, but today I ended up discarding half of my ribs and 3/4 of my brisket, plus the majority of the sides. I almost gave Two Podners two stars solely because of their tasty lemonade, but they don't deserve it.

On a final note, I found this quote in a Facebook review of Two Podners, and I couldn't help but include it here out of pure enjoyment: "I went there about a month ago and they had put oniceos in they greens they was nastey, i said you told them to put that o in them greens that cuts the taste in it+!" All things considered, I guess I'm glad I ordered sweet potatoes instead of "they nastey greens."

**********

Two Podners Bar-B-Que & Seafood
1441 Robert B McCullum Blvd.
Dallas, TX 75210
(214) 421-5387
http://www.twopodners.com/

Super Mercado Mexico (Dallas, TX)

As much as I love the usual barbecue offerings of brisket and ribs, barbacoa is also an important part of the Texas barbecue tradition. A friend of mine told me that I could find some great barbacoa tacos down in Lakewood at the Super Mercado Mexico, and he was right.

This place doesn't look like much from the street, but the food you'll find here packs a powerful punch. The Super Mercado has a lot of the standard Mexican groceries, as well as a great meat market and some fresh homemade tortillas. I thoroughly enjoy a good Jarritos soda, but what I really came here for was the taco stand in the back corner. Although they have tacos and tortas every day, you'll only find barbacoa and menudo options available on Sabados y Domingos (Saturdays and Sundays).

It took a while for a gringo like me to figure things out, but I got it squared away in the end. The first step is to order your tacos from the front register, then bring your receipt back to the taco man. It took every ounce of my Spanglish to place my order, but I'm about 90% certain that I asked for two Cabeza de Borrego Tacos (sheep's head) and two Tacos al Pastor (think pork shawarma).

The tacos at Super Mercado Mexico are only $1.25 each, so it took great restraint to limit myself to just four. These come topped with the usual mix of diced onion and cilantro, and a cup of salsa verde on the side.

Both taco varieties looked superb, but I decided to start with the cabeza de borrego. The meat was succulent and juicy. Unlike a lot of street tacos you'll find out there, these weren't at all greasy or stringy. The onions gave it a nice crunch, and the cilantro added a great flavor. I found the borrego to be fantastic and tasty on its own, but the salsa verde added a great new level of flavor.

The al pastor tacos were just as delicious as the borrego. I found tender, tasty pieces of pork here, as well as a great seasoning from the dried chiles. The onions and cilantro paired nicely with the pork, too. There was also a slight sweetness to the meat that I really liked. I decided to forgo the salsa with the al pastor tacos and just enjoy their natural flavors, which were outstanding.

If you saw Super Mercado Mexico from the street, it would be easy to drive on by without giving it a second thought, but that would be a big mistake. For phenomenal barbacoa in Dallas, this is definitely the place to go.

**********

Super Mercado Mexico
5535 Columbia Ave.
Dallas, TX 75214
(214) 370-4272
https://www.facebook.com/SuperMercadoMexico?fref=ts

L&L Hawaiian Barbecue (Plano, TX)

I had heard that there was some good traditional Hawaiian barbecue to be had up in Plano, but unfortunately I don't find myself up that far north very often. Today my wife suggested a trip to Ikea in Plano, and I agreed in exchange for lunch at L&L.

I've never had Hawaiian barbecue anywhere other than Hawaii itself, so I wasn't sure exactly what I'd find in the land-locked city of Plano, Texas. L&L didn't have the overly-touristy Hawaiian atmosphere that I was expecting, but instead had a small cafe-sized dining area with a few surfboards on the wall. I also enjoyed the looping video footage of fire dancers and luau music playing in the background. Not quite so enjoyable were the employees both in the dining area and behind the counter who were loudly slurping down big bowls of kimchi. Granted it was lunchtime, but it was a little off-putting from a customer's standpoint.

L&L had lots of tasty looking things to try. The staff and management appear to be Asian, so they have a few spring rolls, etc. on the menu in addition to the typical Hawaiian selections. I ended up ordering a BBQ Mix Plate: BBQ Beef, BBQ Ribs, and I substituted in some Kalua Pork for the BBQ Chicken that's supposed to come on the mix plate. Their entrees automatically come with steamed rice and macaroni salad, and since there didn't seem to be any other options, those side dishes would have to do.

The macaroni salad was pretty bland and forgettable. It was basically just macaroni and mayonnaise, like a coleslaw with pasta instead of cabbage. The rice was just plain, steamed white rice, and was as equally forgettable as the macaroni salad had been. I did appreciate that it was cooked well at least.

When I ordered something that included ribs, I was expecting, well, ribs. You know, long bone with some meat attached to it. What I got here were some of the weirdest "ribs" I'd ever seen. It looked like they shaved a cross-sectioned slice off of the slab from the wrong direction, with just three oval-shaped slivers of bone embedded in a deli-style slice of rib meat. To make matters worse, the meat was pretty tough to chew. The fat was not at all well-rendered, and it was actually really gristly. The flavor was basically nothing more than teriyaki, and not a particularly memorable teriyaki at that.

I moved on to the beef, only to find it on par with the ribs. The single thin slice of meat was completely overcooked and fairly dry. It was also just as gristly as the ribs. I had initially assumed that something called the "mix plate" would be a mix of different types of barbecue. Instead, the L&L mix plate is essentially three different meats all covered in the same teriyaki sauce. The beef was a big let down.

My wife isn't really the biggest fan of teriyaki. She had ordered the BBQ Chicken plate, which the menu described as being marinated in their special L&L Hawaiian barbecue sauce. What she didn't realize was that "special L&L Hawaiian barbecue sauce" is apparently just their fancy way of saying "teriyaki sauce." She didn't really eat any more after the first few bites, so I stepped in to try it out. Here again, we had both expected the dark meat chicken to be on-the-bone, but just like the ribs, we instead received deli-style slices of chicken. The chicken was cooked well and was very juicy. I wanted to like it, though I can only handle so much teriyaki at one time.

After what I tasted on my wife's plate, I was really glad that I had substituted the Kalua Pork for the BBQ Chicken. The shredded pork was very tender, and there was a huge portion of it with my mix plate. I enjoyed the natural flavors of the pork, but sadly that was the only flavor I could find. I smelled some delicious smoke outside before we walked through the door, which really got my hopes up. I'm not sure where the smoke was emanating from, but it sure wasn't L&L. The menu describes the pork as being "smoke-flavored," which is usually code for liquid smoke. Even then, I couldn't taste the slightest bit of smoke in this pork.

It's been almost 3 1/2 years since my wife and I were in Hawaii for our honeymoon, but I still remember how delicious the food was. L&L Hawaiian Barbecue wasn't even close to the amazing and flavorful barbecue and luau meats that we had eaten during our time there. I think L&L has probably gotten lazy and complacent over the years. While adherence to tradition is obviously an important part of their business, they need to pay more attention to the quality of the meats and sauces they use, because otherwise tradition is meaningless.

**********

L&L Hawaiian Barbecue
8404 Preston Rd.
Suite 200
Plano, TX 75024
(972) 712-3888
http://hawaiianbarbecue.com/

Burger King (Dallas, TX)

Let me begin by going on record to say that I do not consider Burger King to be barbecue in any sense of the word. That being said, I was admittedly a little intrigued by their recently-unveiled Summer menu, which contains several "BBQ" selections. I suspect that the term "BBQ" is being very loosely applied here, but since Burger King is only a two-minute walk from my apartment, I decided to try out a few of their new sandwiches.

This Burger King location has recently reopened after undergoing a major renovation, so I was interested to see what the outcome would be. The interior looks much nicer, and has a more welcoming feel than the Burger Kings of yesteryear. They do still have the paper crowns available at least, so it hasn't changed all that much.

I ended up ordering two of their new Summer menu items: the BK Rib Sandwich and the Memphis BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwich, along with a standard order of fries. Burger King has sweet potato fries available as part of the summer selections, but I thoroughly enjoy their regular fries, so I passed for today.

The BK Rib Sandwich is surely their answer to the McDonald's McRib. I've never been a fan of the McRib, but somehow the BK version seemed a little better than its competition. I enjoyed the artisanal bun, which was an improvement over the standard sesame seed version. Although they didn't look very appetizing, the bread and butter pickles offered a good sweetness, but I think dill pickles would have been a better pairing. The barbecue sauce tasted more like a sweet ketchup. The "patty" or whatever looked like three ladyfingers waiting to be part of a tiramisu. My brain kept telling me, "They can't call it a rib sandwich if it isn't rib meat," but my taste buds refused to believe it. Overall, the BK Rib Sandwich was slightly tastier than the McRib, but that really isn't saying much.

Thoroughly disappointed by the Rib Sandwich, I moved on to the Memphis BBQ Pulled Pork. Rather than the neat pile of pulled pork pictured on the Burger King website, what I received was a balled-up mass of pork shoved onto a bun. The meat (if you can call it that) was very mushy and had the consistency of uncooked hamburger meat. It was well-suited for people with dentures, but not for those of us who have acquired the evolutionary advantage of teeth. The crunch of the onions gave this sandwich its only texture. According to the menu description, this sandwich has a Memphis-style barbecue sauce and a "sweet southern dressing," though I'm not sure I understand the need for both. The sauce was pleasantly sweet, but I can get better sauce from the Kroger next door. Basically, this was nothing more than a sweet sloppy joe.

If I could have given this meal zero stars, I would have. Wait. It's my blog, and I can do whatever I want. Negative one stars! Instead of trying to outpace McDonald's in the arena of fake barbecue, perhaps Burger King should instead focus on making a better hamburger.

**********

Burger King
5456 E. Mockingbird Ln.
#400
Dallas, TX 75206
(214) 828-9146
http://www.bk.com/en/us/index.html

Smokey John's Bar-B-Que (Dallas, TX)

About a month ago I went to the Smokey John's location on Gaston full of anticipation, only to find the building demolished. Their website currently still lists both the Gaston and Mockingbird locations, so I'm not sure what's going on exactly. Undaunted, I decided to drive over to the Mockingbird Smokey John's for lunch today.

According to the signage out front, as well as above the single cafeteria line you go through for both businesses, Smokey John's shares their space with something called Ruth's Famous Tamales. I was immediately reminded of an episode of The Big Bang Theory where Sheldon, concerned for his dry cleaner's lack of focus on a singular craft, says, "Did you notice the sign on his counter? He's not a full-time dry cleaner. He also makes keys." Giving Smokey John's the benefit of the doubt, I assumed that the same people weren't cooking both the barbecue and the tamales, but it was still a little concerning.

I had originally wanted to sample Smokey John's beef sausage, which is one of the only sausages they make in-house (the other being their garlic beef sausage). Unfortunately, they were out of both varieties of beef sausage, even though it was only 11:15 in the morning. They import their pork sausage from Snook, Texas, so I guess that alternative would have to do. Smokey John's 5-meat "Full House" was pretty tempting, but I decided not to over-order and instead opted for a 3-Meat Plate of ribs, pork sausage, and brisket, with potato salad and sweet potatoes on the side.

The sweet potatoes were nice and soft, with a great taste of cinnamon and sugar. They were also cooked really well, crumbling apart in my mouth. The potato salad had good flavor, and was creamy and crunchy at the same time. It could have used a little more in the spice department though. My main complaint with the sides is more with their plating rather than with the flavors. The sweet potatoes are served along with all of their underlying juices from the pan, which inevitably spilled over into the potato salad. This kind of ruined the bottom portion of my potato salad, so I just ate the top half and left the rest to wallow in the sogginess.

I started my meat trio with the sausage, which had a great, audible snap to the casings. It was only slightly smoky, and most of the flavor I found was from the cracked black pepper. Part of the sweet potato juices had also made their way onto my sausage slices, which was actually a really tasty collaboration. The cinnamon and sausage together tasted more like a breakfast link, a surprise that I rather enjoyed. The pork sausage might not have been homemade, but at least they cooked it well.

The brisket came in much thinner slices than I usually receive at barbecue joints. I had asked the knife man to make my brisket fatty, and although the brisket had some good fat to it, it was definitely a leaner cut than I was expecting. It had a nicely seasoned crust, but sadly the crust was the only part of the brisket with any smoke to it. I was pretty disappointed with the overall lack of flavor here.

For some God-forsaken reason, Smokey John's cuts their spare ribs in half, separating the rib bone itself from the rib tip (or, as Texas Monthly's barbecue editor Daniel Vaughan affectionately calls it, the "knuckle"). The two bifurcated ribs that came with my combo plate looked really sad, as if half of the meat had been removed and/or fallen off. The meat itself was tasty enough: slightly sweet, though not much smoke. The modicum of meat on the rib bone was cooked well and was very tender. The meat on the rib tip, however, was rather tough and hard to chew. I don't want to unfairly slander Smokey John's, but the ribs seemed like they might have been reheated from the day before. I hope not.

I'm sad to say that the sweet potatoes were my favorite part of this meal. Maybe I should have ordered some of Ruth's tamales instead.

UPDATE (July 1, 2015): Today I received a message through my Yelp account from Brent Reaves, co-owner of Smokey John's. Mr. Reeves apologized for the less-than-stellar food I'd eaten at Smokey John's over two years ago, and he invited me back to the restaurant for a free meal. My wife and I had also relocated to Nashville more than a year ago, but better late than never I suppose. Were I still in the Dallas area, I'd consider giving Smokey John's another try, but it wouldn't be pre-scheduled and it certainly wouldn't be on the house. Nevertheless, I appreciated his apology and I wish them the best of luck.

**********

Smokey John's Bar-B-Que
1820 W. Mockingbird Ln.
Dallas, TX 75235
(214) 352-2752
http://www.smokeyjohns.com/

Boo-Ray's of New Orleans (Fort Worth, TX)

From time to time, my boss likes to take the firm out to dinner, which is always much appreciated. Tonight, we were treated to Boo-Ray's of New Orleans. I'd never heard of this place, but I'm willing to try anything (well, most things) once.

Boo-Ray's is located out amongst the cattle in the Eagle Mountain-Saginaw area northwest of Fort Worth. It's kind of like a blue-collar version of Razzoo's, which is more or less a blue-collar version of Pappadeaux. Throw some peanut shells on the floor, and this place could have easily been a Logan's Roadhouse. It was really busy during our Saturday night dinner, perhaps because there's nowhere else to eat 'round these parts. It looks like they have a decent bar at least. Oh well, it was a free meal and I had a good time him-hawing with my coworkers, so I won't complain too much.

There's really no logical reason that I should be ordering barbecue from a Cajun seafood restaurant, but I couldn't resist the call of ribs. I ordered up a half-rack of their Baby Back Ribs, which the menu describes as "slow cooked over mesquite wood with Boo-Ray's special BBQ sauce." The ribs automatically come with sweet potato fries and green beans on the side.

I was the first to be served, so I snacked on my side dishes while the rest of our food was brought out. The sweet potato fries were pleasantly sweet and crispy. I suspect that they arrived at Boo-Ray's in a frozen bag, but they were tasty. The few fries that were nestled next to the ribs were the most flavorful, and the sweetness of the barbecue sauce was a nice accompaniment. As for the green beans, they were a bit odd. What I pictured in my mind was a nice bed of haricot verts, but what I received was a bowl of weird, flat green beans soaking in some sort of brown gravy concoction. They had good seasoning, but not much else going for them.

The ribs looked very meaty sitting before me, much meatier than I was expecting for baby backs at least. Unfortunately, that's where the positive attributes ended. I should have known the ribs would be sub-par when the menu said they were "slow cooked" rather than "smoked," but I gave them the benefit of the doubt. Mesquite is a tough wood to smoke with in general, since it tends to burn hot and fast. I couldn't pinpoint any mesquite smoke whatsoever, although the thick barbecue sauce may have precluded this somewhat. The sauce was nice and sweet, but lacked any real kick. Each bite I took resulted in the entire portion of rib meat falling completely off the bone, which, contrary to popular belief, is not a good thing. I did find a small amount of meat retention, so these ribs weren't quite as overcooked as they could have been, but they were still far from being cooked properly.

My table-mates all seemed to enjoy their seafood selections. Maybe Boo-Ray's should stick to more traditional New Orleans fare and leave the barbecue to the Texans.

**********

Boo-Ray's of New Orleans
7255 Boat Club Rd.
Fort Worth, TX 76179
(817) 236-6149
http://www.booraysofneworleans.com/

Tacos la Banqueta (Dallas, TX) - CLOSED

For no reason in particular, I found myself craving barbacoa today. Not the hoity-toity Dos Equis "barbacoa" (probably just brisket) that carpetbaggers eat at Urban Taco, but traditional cabeza de vaca (cow's head). Dallas is admittedly pretty far north of barbacoa country, which is usually limited to areas of South Texas near the border. Tacos la Banqueta was one of the few places I found online that advertised cabeza on their menu, so I decided to give it a try.

Calling Tacos la Banqueta a hole-in-the-wall is probably being generous. This place is basically just a grill, with only the tiniest dining counter I've ever seen. While waiting to order, I found myself engulfed in the aroma of sizzling organ meats on the grill, which is much more enticing than you might expect. The lady at the counter spoke a little English, but I thought I'd try my luck and order in Spanish. It's cash only here, though I suspect they also accept pesos. I stood out like a sore thumb, so I decided to take my order to go.

The tacos here are only $1.35 each, so I ordered up a trio for lunch: Cabeza (cow's head), Lengua (tongue), and Chorizo (sausage). I wasn't feeling quite adventurous enough for the Tripa (intestine). Their tacos come topped with onions and cilantro, which is really all I needed. You can also get either traditional salsa or salsa verde on the side, but I decided to forgo the salsa and invest myself in the natural flavors of the meats instead.

Since it was the main reason I came to Tacos la Banqueta, I started with the cabeza. The meat was tender and cooked perfectly. It was almost like a roast, which is bad for traditional brisket, but spot on for barbacoa. You'd probably never know it was cow's head if they didn't tell you. There was only a slight amount of seasoning (mostly salt), which let the cabeza really stand on its own.

It's been at least 10 years since I've eaten lengua, so I was eager to get back in the saddle. The lengua was also very tender, and the crunch of the onions meshed perfectly with the smoothness of the tongue meat. There wasn't much in terms of seasoning, but fresh cilantro certainly helped in that regard.

The chorizo was a little greasy, but luckily it was also extremely flavorful. I found a good mix of spices, as well as a nice crisp char from the grill. It also had the beautiful reddish color that good chorizo should have. Of the three tacos, this was probably my favorite.

If you're brave enough, Tacos la Banqueta is a great spot for barbacoa in Dallas.

**********

Tacos la Banqueta
4500 Bryan St.
Dallas, TX 75204
(214) 823-1260
http://tacoslabanqueta.com/

David's Barbecue (Pantego, TX)

I missed out on lunch today, so I decided to track down some barbecue in Arlington on my way home. The signage outside of David's Barbecue claims that they've been serving up smoked meat "Since 1910." With that much history behind their 'que, I thought it was worth checking out.

As it turns out, it was actually the proprietor's great grandfather who started the Harris-Bryan family's first barbecue joint down in Oak Cliff. David's Barbecue itself actually opened in 1988, and has only been operating under the purview of its current owner, Jimmy Harris, since 1992. While serving up barbecue for over 20 years is certainly impressive and commendable, it's not quite the historical landmark that their advertising would lead one to believe.

David's is a pretty low key place to eat, but it's certainly not run down either. The decor is mostly just pictures of all the celebrities and bigwigs that have eaten there over the decades, including John Travolta apparently. Although, I'm not sure if all of those are from David's Barbecue or one of the family's former restaurants.

I was fairly hungry, but I also didn't want to go overboard and spoil my dinner. As a compromise, I settled on a 2 Meat Dinner of ribs and brisket (fatty at my request). Their non-fried side dishes are self-serve, so I helped myself to barbeque beans and potato salad. I didn't even have to ask for my sauce on the side - they clearly knew better. This is Texas after all.

The beans had a good sweetness to them, but they weren't really anything special. They easily could have come from a can, though I have no way of knowing this for sure. Either way, the beans definitely could have used a little spice. As for the potato salad, it was creamy and had a very good crunch. There were a lot of visible pickles and peppers diced in, hence the crunchiness. It also wasn't overly mustardy, which I liked.

I was really glad I had opted for fatty brisket, which I almost always prefer over the lean cut. Despite the appeal of fatty goodness, my brisket was more like a pot roast than anything else. It certainly melted in my mouth, but not in a good way. I found no taste of smoke whatsoever. The small amount of bark I received had a really nice seasoning on it, but I was sad to discover that the flavor of the crust didn't extend to the meat below.

The ribs looked really tasty and meaty sitting on my plate. I was also pleased to see that my combo came with four ribs instead of the usual two or three that most joints offer. The sugary glaze was very flavorful, and there was a nice crust on them. Sadly, just like the brisket, I couldn't pinpoint any smoke in the ribs. The meat was tender and juicy, though bordering on being overcooked. It wasn't quite falling off the bone, but it was really close.

For all the smoke I smelled walking in the door, there didn't seem to be even a hint of it in the food. I think David's has the potential to have really great barbecue, but they've got a few cooking issues to sort out first.

**********

David's Barbecue
2224 W. Park Row Dr.
Suite H
Pantego, TX 76013
(817) 261-9998
http://www.davidsbarbecue.com/