Scarborough Renaissance Festival (Waxahachie, TX)

It's not often that I find time for something fun and completely random. A few weeks ago, a friend suggested that we do a double-date at the Scarborough Renaissance Festival down in Waxahachie. My inner nerd couldn't resist.

The first thing I noticed upon entering the fairgrounds was the abundance of wenches all around me. It probably had the highest concentration of gravity-defying cleavage per square foot anywhere I've seen in quite some time. There was an interesting mix of cute families and costumed fanatics, and even a few hipsters who seemed to be wearing chain mail ironically.

This was a much larger ordeal than I originally assumed it would be. We quite easily spent 7 hours wandering around and enjoying the somewhat historically-inaccurate festivities. I don't want to belabor the non-barbecue details, so I'll simply convey an overview of the various sights and activities via a few example pictures:

Mermaid Lagoon

Scottish Musicians

Belly Dancers

Turtle Races

Dunking Booth

While there was certainly a lot to do and see, there was also a lot to eat. I didn't find much in terms of barbecue options, but there were a few. For lunch, we stopped at the Royal Kitchens. My wife had a hankering for a giant turkey leg, while I naturally gravitated toward beef ribs.

I wasn't expecting just one beef rib and some Ruffles chips for $6.00, but at least it was rather large. Size aside, this rib was pretty disgusting. It took significant effort to bite off the meat, which was extremely tough. There were bone fragments jutting out everywhere. The fat was already solidified into a chewy mass. I found only minimal seasoning, though not nearly enough to salvage the leathery meat. This felt like something straight from the cow's "nether eye" (look it up), but I doubt that even The Miller himself would have eaten this garbage.

After a few more hours of walking about, we stopped for a late afternoon snack. By this point, we were near the Crown Kitchens. I had worked up a decent appetite, so I ordered a Rogue Sandwich.

This was basically just a sliced brisket sandwich. I was surprised to find a slight smoke ring on the edges of the meat, although I'm guessing it had been smoked a day or two earlier, judging by the general taste. The brisket was fairly dry, while the bread was greasy and soggy. In retrospect, I should have added sauce, but then the sogginess would have been out of control. I found a few random onions tossed into the mix, though I'm not sure whether they were intentional or accidental.

I certainly didn't anticipate world-class barbecue at the Renaissance festival. That being said, I did expect better food for the price. If we go again next year, I'll have to rethink my meal choices.

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Scarborough Renaissance Festival
2511 FM 66
Waxahachie, TX 75167
(972) 938-3247
http://www.srfestival.com/